Ann Ipock - Author, Speaker, Humorist

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Wednesday, 30 June 2010

> It's been a busy summer finding the right fit

Georgetown Times

Ann Ipock: It's been a busy summer finding the right fit

Published Wednesday, June 30, 2010 7:54 AM

Some folks have asked me where my column has been lately. Please forgive me.

I took a short vacation to finish up some paperwork, or should I say book work, and also to carefully orchestrate what will be my biggest performance to date. (Remember “Life Is Short”, the play that I did at the Swamp Fox Theatre?

This is slightly bigger.) More on the latter later.

But first on the former. Are you lost yet?

I just sent an e-mail to family, friends and fans about my latest news and now I’m going to tell the entire world via the Georgetown Times. (Drum roll, please!)

I am publishing a new book this fall! I’ve signed the contract and it’s a done deal.

Though I own my publishing company, Goody 2 Shoes, I am working with the local university’s publishing lab and a first-class book printer.

As they say, it’s all good, make that, perfect!

The title is “Life Is Short, I Wish I Was Taller.”

You may remember that was the title of one of my columns a few months back.

When I wrote it, I knew I would choose that title for my book.

It’s been a busy summer finding the right fit (designer, editor, book printer) to complete my trilogy: The first book is “Life Is Short, But It’s Wide.” The second book is “Life Is Short, So Read This Fast!” Of course, I’ll never forget my first book EVER that is now out of print. It’s titled “What Was It I Was Saying?”

For anyone new to my column (I’m going on my twelfth year), Georgetown Times ran my very first column titled “What Was It I Was Saying?” (as a header) in 1998.

Now each column has its own stand-alone title.

From there I self-published a saddle-stitched paperback and I sold close to 3,000 copies, including two printings.

A lot has happened since then, “then” being 1999. “Wide” came out in 2003.

“Fast” came out in 2006. And now “Tall” will come out in 2010.

Here I am eleven years later with what I’d call a “new and improved” book, marketing campaign and even performance.

Yep, it’s true performance. I’m calling my talks a performance (this doesn’t include book signings only) because I’ve hired a dynamic acting coach named Sunnie Pennington. (Check out her web site.)

I’ve mentioned this before, but again, I now live in the third largest movie production city in America, (that being Wilmington, N.C.)

Sunnie lives at the beach and it’s all I can do to not drive straight to the sand-and-sea in her lovely beach-side community, but instead I end up in her charming bungalow one block away, learning all kinds of things: for example, how to use my voice in many ways; both inflection, volume, accents and more.

I’m also learning to use gestures, some sweeping, some gentle and some carefully coordinated.

I have a long way to go and yet, I feel I’ve already achieved so much.

Sunnie is so good at so many things, I often wonder if she is truly human.

She’s a fantastic photographer, artist and advisor.

Her wit and wisdom are priceless.

In her own way, she reminds me that the art of writing and performing are extremely important.

But she also gives me pointers in the art of selling books; and believe me, I have truly come to know that as an art.

Most of all, she has taught me to connect with my audience, to share my heart and to let folks come into mine, as well.

For this I am changed and I am truly thankful.

Now for my big performance: This Saturday I will be one of eight entertainers at “The Best of Our State” in Pinehurst, N.C. Details are on my web site, but suffice it to say that Our State’s magazine (Winston-Salem, N.C. based) has a readership of 750,000.

And they’ve advertised this event for the last five month’s issues.

So, yeah, they’re expecting a crowd and I am honored and thrilled to be a part of it.

As always, I tell my audience all about Georgetown Times giving me my first chance at writing.

I talk about Pawleys Island, Brookgreen Gardens, the beach, Front Street in Georgetown, and the Hammock Shops.

But I have to quickly move on for fear I’ll get too emotional.

Things here are great and I’m happy, but a part of me is always with in S.C.!

Oh, and mark your calendars for August 29th Sunday.

I’ll be doing a book signing at My Sister’s Books in Pawleys Island from 2-4. Y’all come now, y’hear?

Posted by: Ann Ipock AT 08:12 pm | Permalink | Email

Wednesday, 02 June 2010

> What's beyond the invisible fence?

Georgetown Times

I have a really good friend named Tim. He’s one of the most interesting people because he always has a funny (true) story to tell.

In fact, he’s a lot like me in that THINGS always seem to happen to him that don’t happen to other people.

He’s also the manager of a restaurant I frequent a couple of times a month, so over the years, I’ve heard a lot of his stories.

Here’s my favorite, so far:

Tim was at work recently, minding his own business—no pun intended—greeting customers and supervising the staff.

Now, if you knew Tim, you’d see that he is an immaculate dresser: starched shirt, pressed slacks and shiny shoes.

He’s also a perfect gentleman and always in control: cool, calm and collected.

But this one day he got a phone call—a complaint—right out of the blue, from the county Animal Control. Someone had called in and said that Tim’s dog, Dexter, was under their house, barking.

Tim said that was absolutely impossible, his yard has an invisible fence and Dexter should not, could not and would not leave his yard.

Never had, never would. The officer told Tim he’d have to come right away.

Tim drove home and it was true: Dexter was nowhere to be found.

That’s when Tim had an “Aha!” moment and thought back to all of those letters from the fence company, that he’d thrown out, thinking they were junk mail.

He added two and two together and realized this was the problem: the batteries must have died, allowing Dexter to “break free” and leave the yard.

So off Tim went to the neighbor’s house (a music teacher who taught lessons from home, no less: I’m sure both he AND Dexter were frustrated). Come to find out, Dexter was indeed under the house, in the crawl space. Tim heard him barking, leaned down and called Dexter’s name over and over, but he wouldn’t come.

It was pitch black under there, so using a flashlight; Tim crawled inch-by-inch on his knees and elbows.

(I can’t imagine this because as I said, Tim is a super-sharp dresser and spit-shine clean, always.)

The further he crawled, the closer Dexter’s bark sounded—but again, there was no Dexter in sight.

As luck would have it, Dexter had gone into one access, then made a turn and went even further, into another access.

Sliding on his belly commando-style, Tim continued his search and finally came upon his beloved pooch, Dexter.

And this part is unreal: Dexter, a huge Doberman (though extremely gentle, Tim says), was standing perhaps 4’ away from the neighbor’s small kitty cat.

Can you just imagine?

But, Tim says they were not fighting.

They were merely staring at each other, surprised. And here was Tim: staring at both of them, even more surprised.

Tim finally got Dexter, went home and immediately ordered the batteries for Dexter’s collar.

“But wait, there’s more,” I often say, and there is: The next day Tim was at work once again and this time, he got a personal visit from Animal Control.

He also noticed a police car in the parking lot, as well. Animal Control said they just wanted to check and make sure everything was okay, that they’d had three complaints that day, and that the next time they would have to issue a citation.

Tim was stunned; and once again, he had an “Aha” moment.

He said this couldn’t be right; that Dexter only barked when someone came into his backyard and Dexter was on the front porch on a leash, happy.

(Tim was still waiting for the batteries to come.) Tim then remembered that his NEIGHBOR’S dog barks constantly, making him the guilty culprit, and releasing Dexter of further blame. Poor Tim: he’d never had a complaint about Dexter in his whole life and now he’d hadtwo in two days.

I saw Tim again last week and asked him how things were going with Dexter. Tim said, “Great!”

Now the batteries are working, and Tim can do the same.

Ann Ipock – “Life Is Short, So Read This Fast!” amipock@ec.rr.com www.annipock.com

Posted by: Ann Ipock AT 04:12 pm | Permalink | Email